October Edition #17: FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLF MAN

Director: Roy William Neill

Screenplay: Curt Siodmak
Starring: Lon Chaney Jr., Ilona Massey, Patric Knowles, Bela Lugosi, Maria Ouspenskaya
Release Date: 1943


FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLF MAN is a movie that I’ve wanted to see since I read the Crestwood House “Monsters” Series adaptation of it as a little boy. Back then I was obsessed with three things: JAWS, Godzilla, and Universal Studios’ series of monster films from the 30’s and 40’s. While I respected Frankenstein’s monster, he was never really my bag, but I always dug the shit out of the Wolf Man, and the idea of these two old-school titans of terror beating the absolute dog shit out of one another was simply too awesome to resist. Alas, as things worked out I was never able to land a copy of this movie until it hit DVD many years later, and so had to view it without the rose-tinted optimism of childhood.

I sincerely hope that full sign actually reads HARDIGAN'S WOLF MAN'S OUTFITTERS.

Set four years after the events of THE WOLF MAN (1941), this movie picks up on  a dark autumnal night as two grave robbers break into the Talbot family crypt and open up the casket containing the remarkably well-preserved corpse of Larry Talbot (Chaney Jr.), who was stricken down by his father’s silver cane at the conclusion of the prior film. Unfortunately for the two criminals the full moon slips out from behind a cloud, spilling its rays upon the apparently not-quite-dead body of Lawrence, awakening him from his deathly slumber and transforming him into a werewolf. Now I have always been under the assumption that once a werewolf is dead, he stays fucking dead, but apparently exposure to the full moon’s rays is all that is needed to bring one back to life, kinda like how nuclear radiation always brings back Godzilla.

After awakening in a hospital in nearby Cardiff the next day, and unable to convince Dr. Mannering (Knowles) and the local authorities of his identity or his supernatural affliction, Talbot concludes that the curse of the werewolf’s bite has rendered him immortal. Escaping from the hospital, he seeks the aid of the gypsy woman Maleva (Ouspenskaya) whose son was the beast who passed the curse on to Larry. In a completely random and inexplicable twist, Maleva concludes that Baron Frankenstein is the only person who holds the key to Larry’s salvation. How she comes to this conclusion is anyone’s guess, but conclude she does, and so the two of them set off to his castle in the village of Vasaria, which begs the question of where and when the fuck do these movies take place? Cardiff looks like it might be Transylvania or England, and Vasaria looks like Germany, but the two locations appear to be barely a days ride from one another, and they both are under constant attack from werewolves and Frankenstein monsters.

A recently discovered photograph of the top secret location where Michael Jackson is cryogenically frozen.

After being accosted by the ignorant locals for even mentioning the name of Frankenstein, an angered Larry flees into forest as the moon rises, again transforming into the Wolf Man, at which point he stumbles into a cave beneath the ruins of Castle Frankenstein and discovers the Frankenstein monster (Lugosi) encased in ice. I never saw the previous Frankenstein movie, GHOST OF FRANKENSTEIN, so I have no idea how any of this makes any sense. Nor do I know if the character of Elsa Frankenstein (Massey), the daughter of Dr. Frankenstein, existed prior to this movie. After thawing out, the Monster leads an un-wolf-ified Talbot to a journal that mentions the presence of Elsa as the last living Frankenstein, and I honestly believe she was created out of thin air as a convenience to the plot. Whatever the case, Larry goes to her for help in uncovering the secret of her father’s work, leading to the discovery of another journal by Frankenstein titled “The Secrets of Life and Death”.

Larry Talbot and the Monster finally give in to their lust.

You see, Larry was the original emo kid, because all he wants to do is die, and somehow he thinks that if he can figure out how Frankenstein conquered death, maybe he can reverse the effects and give himself the peace he so desperately seeks. So after Larry freaks out and goes all psycho on a group of villagers performing a random musical number in the middle of some kind of vaguely German festival (all I know is there was lots of lederhosen) Dr. Mannering shows up, having tracked Talbot via reports of his nightly maulings, and is convinced to aid Larry in his quest to recreate Frankenstein’s experiment. There’s a lot of nonsense discussion of reversing the polarity of the Monster’s energy and some other science-y sounding stuff that basically boils down to killing the shit out of both the Monster and the Wolf Man, which is just fine with the locals, who freak the fuck out when the Monster strolls into the festival to see about picking up a beer and some schnitzel. I don’t think the Monster kills a single person in this entire movie, but the locals of course blame everything on him, in particular a vehemently hateful innkeeper named Vazek who takes immense pleasure in rousing rabbles and dishing out beatings to scallywags.

One of the many unfortunate faces of Bela Lugosi.

So  after an hour of set-up, we finally get to the big climax in which Dr. Mannering hooks Larry and the Monster up to a bunch of Tesla coils and whirling thingamabobs, but then something goes wrong and the Monster is energized to full strength, going on a rampage through the lab and of course trying to run off with Elsa. Fortunately there is a full moon every fucking night in whatever godforsaken country this is, and the Wolf Man springs into action. The two beasts fight for approximately a minute and a half, and it’s a blast to watch, until that douche bag Vazek blasts a nearby dam with dynamite, completely flooding the valley in which the castle lays and effectively obliterating the titular monsters. Roll credits.

I’ll give the movie this much, I would have loved it when I was six. It has all of the over-the top Gothic graveyards, castles and general spooky sense of fun that generations of horror fans have come to love. Hell, I still really like it now but, having recently seen the  James Whale directed FRANKENSTEIN, his superior BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN and the original THE WOLF MAN, I can safely say that this doesn’t hold a candle to those enduring classics. While no modern audience could ever conceivably be frightened by those movies, there was a certain reverence for the material that is sadly missing in FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLF MAN. For one thing, though Frankenstein gets top billing in the title, this movie functions mainly as a sequel to the Wolf Man. In that respect it is fairly decent, but the shoe-horning in of the Monster really hurts the plot, as it is fairly obvious that screenwriter Siodmak could not think of a way to bring the two monsters together that makes any kind of sense. Another weakness is Lugosi’s portrayal of the Monster, without a doubt the worst of any of the Monster’s in this series. Boris Karloff’s rendition of the Monster is iconic for a reason, as his soulful eyes and subtle body language brought a certain poetic grace and sadness to the creature. Lugosi, who incidentally was the original choice to play the Monster in the original film, is merely a staggering, moaning lump of grimacing dead flesh. It doesn’t feel at all like the same Monster, which is a big problem considering that the main draw of the film is seeing these two clash.

But in the end they do clash and while, due to the restrictions of the time, the final battle in no way reaches the lunatic heights of epic spewing plasma as FREDDY VS. JASON, it is still a monster mash for the ages. This movie was a fun, breezy good time. It might not be fine art, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with allowing a little cheese in your cinematic diet. Now if I could just get Universal to green light my script for THE WOLF MAN MEETS MECHAGODZILLA. That’s where the real money’s at!

My Rating:
7/10

I read the hell out of this thing when I was a kid!